The Human Centipede (First Sequence).

Posted: August 14, 2013 in SeeYouNextWednesday Reviews
Tags: , , ,

Yep, I watched it and yep, I’m going to review it. ‘A mad scientist kidnaps and mutilates a trio of tourists in order to reassemble them into a new “pet”– a human centipede, created by stitching their mouths to each others’ rectums.’ I’m also going to add I watched this with my mother – yeah, I have balls.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence)


What to say about The Human Centipede? And where to start… I watched this in two sittings basically, the first was like 1am and I missed most of it so watched the end and then watched the beginning up to where I got to last time. I wasn’t really worried about watching this being that I don’t really find things disturbing (I saw a Serbian Film and was fine), and I had heard that this was disturbing, (I had heard that A Serbian Film was the worst thing a lot of people have ever seen and it just messed them up. Me? Nothing), but I didn’t find it that bad, just really really weird. I just don’t get the point of it really, I love my horrors and I love my gore and I love things that make you suffer in films, like Hitchcock said, make the audience suffer, but I just didn’t get this. For one, I didn’t really like any of the characters, if you break down in the middle of nowhere, stay there, don’t go and walk through a dark scary forest and go looking for a house. And if you do find a house in the middle of nowhere, it’s in the middle of nowhere for a reason….a ‘YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET YOUR FACE STAPLED TO SOMEONE’S ARSE’ reason. So yeah, I wasn’t a fan of any of the characters, apart from the poor man who didn’t fit the bill….poor too fat man, the Doctor’s quote, not mine!

So yeah.

English: A still image from The Human Centiped...

What did I watch?!

I’m also going to add, for the sheer hell of it, I watched this straight after watching Sharknado…and I enjoyed Sharknado more, that’s saying something. I think, its like A Serbian Film, I just didn’t get it, I wasn’t disturbed by it, I was able to sleep on my own afterwards, I just didn’t get it. I’ll give it something, I did say ew, when the guy at the front needs a number two, that was just nasty! It’s also just the thought of it. It’s just naaaaaasty. Now this may sound really wrong but when he makes them into the centipede, it really wasn’t that gory, I was disappointed with how little you saw, I was just expecting more from that scene. I am sane. Really. I am nice…

I just, sat through it I guess, I wouldn’t watch it again in a rush, I wouldn’t jump to see the next one, I just watched it. I didn’t get why he made them into a centipede, most other films, you can go ‘okay, it was wrong but you did it because of this, still makes it wrong but there’s thought behind it’. This had none. And the other thing I’ve literally just thought, had the doctor made one before, or was he literally just sitting there waiting for some ‘not the brightest lightbulbs in the pack’ people to just wander into this garden? In the middle nowhere. Was he like 20 when he started waiting for them?!


Yeah, now you’re smiling.

It was just a weird film. I give it to the person who thought it up, it’s an original idea, yes, but HOW DID YOU THINK IT UP?! I wouldn’t say I hated it, it didn’t disturb me or anything, I’m just mellow with it. I wouldn’t say ‘go see this!’ but I wouldn’t say ‘dont see this what ever you do!’…unless you’re under 18. DO NOT see this if you’re under 18, then it might scar you, and I hate kids who think they’re cool for seeing an older film. Jeeeeeez. Anyway, yeah, I’m just mellow, original idea but that’s about it. Think the second and third one just take advantage of the hype and go waaaay over the top by the sound of it…


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