Posts Tagged ‘Human Centipede’

I did it! I watched A Serbian Film, or Srpski film, one of theeee most disturbing, wrong movies ever made….and I’m fine. ‘An aging porn star agrees to participate in an “art film” in order to make a clean break from the business, only to discover that he has been drafted into making a pedophilia and necrophilia themed snuff film.’

 

A Serbian Film

Just repeat ‘That is not David Spade’…

 

I finally got round to watching it, I’ve had the DVD for a while but just had never watched it, whether that was because I just hadn’t got round to watching it or I hadn’t found the balls to watch it, I don’t know. I had generally heard that it was really really reallyyyyyy wrong and just the most disturbing thing that some had ever seen, flying straight in front of films such as Cannibal Holocaust.  I have never seen Cannibal Holocaust, but like this, I had/have heard that it is a pretty disturbing film. I’m not going to say I was disappointing because that is just wrong, but it wasn’t as disturbing as I’d set out for it to be. Its wrong, don’t get me wrong, it’s very wrong, but I wouldn’t say I found it disturbing or that I was disturbed after watching it. I fill kind of weird saying that, I’m not weird, don’t worry…

 

Anyway, as I said, this film is wrong, I wouldn’t say disturbing because I was fine afterwards, but it is very wrong. I mean, looking at the film is about, that’s not surprising at all. Its weird from the start, it opens to you watching the main character in one of his porn movies, which then is shown to be being watched by his own son…awkward. He’s not doing too well, so when some (shady) people say to him about doing a new porn movie that’ll be huge, after some thought, he goes for it. Obviously, it doesn’t go as he plans, in the way of underage blow jobs, necrophilia and the famous ‘baby rape’ scene. Am I selling this film to you? So, from all that, you can see just how charming this film is. Its wrong. Wrong and weird. Oh, and don’t forget the penis, eye socket scene!

 

Portada A Serbian Film

THAT IS NOT DAVID SPADE!!

 

A Serbian Film is a film that I found wrong but anyone would, what it covers throughout the film is just wrong, it’s a dark movie and just seems like the makers thought ‘whats wrong’ ‘ummm, torturing a baby’ ‘okay, let’s have it, raping a baby’, kind of thing. I think in a way, it was good, because I think disturbing the audience is good in a way, make them feel something as Alfred Hitchcock use to do and say, but it does take some mind to think and put in someone raping a baby… Raping a baby is just incredibly wrong and it definitely makes you feel something, but it’s definitely not nice. Like the entire film, it’s not nice. I’m not sure I fully got it, people say it’s art and I didn’t see that, people say it represents how hard and disturbing where it’s set is and I can see that, if that’s the case then I think it makes some of it better, as making it this hard and disturbing was probably one of the only ways to get it across. I’m not 100% on that though, so don’t hold it against me.

 

This is a film that is not for the faint hearted, at all, and no one under 18, it’s not your average porno. Things are in this film that cannot be unseen, I wasn’t disturbed by it or found it disturbing but I didn’t really have a good time watching some of it. Worst thing was that the main character looks a lot like David Spade, you know, Kuzco? Makes it so much worst…

 

The main characters in The Emperor's New Groov...

So much worst….

 

Yep, I watched it and yep, I’m going to review it. ‘A mad scientist kidnaps and mutilates a trio of tourists in order to reassemble them into a new “pet”– a human centipede, created by stitching their mouths to each others’ rectums.’ I’m also going to add I watched this with my mother – yeah, I have balls.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

Whyyyyy?!

What to say about The Human Centipede? And where to start… I watched this in two sittings basically, the first was like 1am and I missed most of it so watched the end and then watched the beginning up to where I got to last time. I wasn’t really worried about watching this being that I don’t really find things disturbing (I saw a Serbian Film and was fine), and I had heard that this was disturbing, (I had heard that A Serbian Film was the worst thing a lot of people have ever seen and it just messed them up. Me? Nothing), but I didn’t find it that bad, just really really weird. I just don’t get the point of it really, I love my horrors and I love my gore and I love things that make you suffer in films, like Hitchcock said, make the audience suffer, but I just didn’t get this. For one, I didn’t really like any of the characters, if you break down in the middle of nowhere, stay there, don’t go and walk through a dark scary forest and go looking for a house. And if you do find a house in the middle of nowhere, it’s in the middle of nowhere for a reason….a ‘YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET YOUR FACE STAPLED TO SOMEONE’S ARSE’ reason. So yeah, I wasn’t a fan of any of the characters, apart from the poor man who didn’t fit the bill….poor too fat man, the Doctor’s quote, not mine!

So yeah.

English: A still image from The Human Centiped...

What did I watch?!

I’m also going to add, for the sheer hell of it, I watched this straight after watching Sharknado…and I enjoyed Sharknado more, that’s saying something. I think, its like A Serbian Film, I just didn’t get it, I wasn’t disturbed by it, I was able to sleep on my own afterwards, I just didn’t get it. I’ll give it something, I did say ew, when the guy at the front needs a number two, that was just nasty! It’s also just the thought of it. It’s just naaaaaasty. Now this may sound really wrong but when he makes them into the centipede, it really wasn’t that gory, I was disappointed with how little you saw, I was just expecting more from that scene. I am sane. Really. I am nice…

I just, sat through it I guess, I wouldn’t watch it again in a rush, I wouldn’t jump to see the next one, I just watched it. I didn’t get why he made them into a centipede, most other films, you can go ‘okay, it was wrong but you did it because of this, still makes it wrong but there’s thought behind it’. This had none. And the other thing I’ve literally just thought, had the doctor made one before, or was he literally just sitting there waiting for some ‘not the brightest lightbulbs in the pack’ people to just wander into this garden? In the middle nowhere. Was he like 20 when he started waiting for them?!

10.1.10HumanCentipedeByLuigiNovi

Yeah, now you’re smiling.

It was just a weird film. I give it to the person who thought it up, it’s an original idea, yes, but HOW DID YOU THINK IT UP?! I wouldn’t say I hated it, it didn’t disturb me or anything, I’m just mellow with it. I wouldn’t say ‘go see this!’ but I wouldn’t say ‘dont see this what ever you do!’…unless you’re under 18. DO NOT see this if you’re under 18, then it might scar you, and I hate kids who think they’re cool for seeing an older film. Jeeeeeez. Anyway, yeah, I’m just mellow, original idea but that’s about it. Think the second and third one just take advantage of the hype and go waaaay over the top by the sound of it…