The bottom of the bin…

So you know my favourite horror movie and why, I’ll tell you about my least favourite horror movie and why. Now I say my least favourite horror movie, horror is a difficult thing to get right, it’s been done a lot, so saying that, there are probably quite a few movies that are at the bottom of the bin along with this one.

Right, I chose this because I rated it with about one and a half stars and remember winding through parts of it that became slow. This film is The Tattooist, ‘A young artist unknowingly plays a role in releasing a deadly spirit as he attempts to learn tatau, the Samoan tradition of tattooing.’.

I really did not like this movie, I thought it sounded weird when I first saw what it was about but was willing to give it a try as I had heard about it and I find tattoos fasinating, but it just wasn’t enjoyable for me. I just found it incredibly slow, especially because the whole thing is about unleashing some horrible spirit, but actually, you don’t see it until at least half way through the film.

The Tattooist is described as a supernatural thriller but, I definitely wouldn’t count it as a supernatural film, the spirit is not seen for a long time. Yes, people may disagree with me saying that as people do die in weird ways, but if a film is described as a ‘supernatural thriller’, I want it to be clearly supernatural. I watched this film for the supernatural part of that sentence, not the thriller, as much as I don’t mind thrillers, I prefer something with a little supernatural or horror twang. If I watch a ‘supernatural’ film or a film with supernatural describing it, I want that, I want creepy moving pictures, I want noises in the house, I even want to see the supernatural being as something terrifying, like in The Devil’s Backbone. That is a brilliant supernatual film but one that isn’t all supernatural, yet it uses technics that would be seen in one and has a very well done ghost.  This film had none of that, it started off with Jake visiting New Zealand to get more inspiration for tattoos and trying an old technic out called pe’a, pe’a is what unleases the spirit, yet all it seems to do is make Jake fall for Sina, a woman who he meets there. Anothet thing about this is that I didn’t really like Jake as he doesn’t ‘accidently’ unlease the spirit, he steals an ancient Samoan tattooing tool which then unleases the demon. It also does not stop there, instead of just him feeling the wrath of the spirit, anyone he tattoos is surprised by it and found dead. He brought the whole thing on himself. Stupid boy.

No one ever teach you not to steal strange, unknown objects, eh Jake?

Before you watch The Tattooist, it gives off a spirital and leads you to think it’s going to be a film about spirits and tattoos and tribes, which I do honestly like the sound of. I had an imagine of spirits like the old voodoo types and of Dawne Johnsons’ tribal tattoos. Putting all this together, I would have liked to have got this, it sounded like a film I would have enjoyed but it ended up just being a slow, awkward film, that wasn’t gory, that didn’t bring much at all to the ‘supernatural’ name. It is also said to ‘centre on Samoan spiritual beliefs, in which the barrier between our world and the spirit world is very thin, leading events in one to have serious and chilling repercussions in the other.’, but I did not get that at all. That sounds like a movie I’d enjoy!

Pretty darn awkward.

Normally in films, I enjoy the whole thing of the hot guy having to protect the woman he has fallen for, against some type of unbeatable creature, but no, in this film, I hated it. I feel it needed it as Jake searching for answers to save his own butt just doesn’t sound right, he needed someone there for him and to protect as he does come over as a bit of a loner, but it’s just awkward. Their relationship is in it more than the actual spirit itself and normally, you enjoy a good relationship, but I wanted scares, I wanted creepiness, not the most awkward sex scene that I have ever seen in my life. It involved, well obviously, sex but also tattoos, throughout it he was tattooing her. This just didn’t seem right, I know he loves tattoos but if I was her, I find it kind of like he needs to be distracted by something. Just imagine famous sex scenes, but where the main character is doing something else, like smoking, playing darts or getting a piercing. I can’t see James Bond doing anything like that anytime soon. In some ways, combining the love of this life and his passion sounds really good, he is tattooing his soul mate with the other thing he loves most in his life, bringing the two together, on paper it seems like a good idea but on screen, no. In the back of my mind was the fact that tattoos hurt, this is suppose to be an intimate scene for the two of them, yet she is going to be in pain, I say this but I know some don’t and people have different pain amounts they can take but still, it was there. Sina also seemed a bit too old for him, maybe a big of a cougar. Not that there’s anything wrong with age!

So there it is, my least favourite horror movie, The Tattooist, I was so bored by it I wound through some of it, wanting to get to the supernatural spririt and the deaths but even they were let downs. I just was bored of it. I’m not going to say “don’t watch this horrendous film” as people have different thoughts and taste and I have seen good reviews for it but I just didn’t like it and wouldn’t watch it again.

It has though put me off stealing old tribal tools though!

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