Mama

So I saw this, in a hotel room in Boston for my birthday. It wasn’t good but it does make me happy being where I was and what I was doing. So I will try not to be biased. Okay, Mama. ‘Annabel and Lucas are faced with the challenge of raising his young nieces that were left alone in the forest for 5 years…. but how alone were they?’.

Mama.

I would say Mama started out pretty good, it’s the normal movie.  It has the creepy feel to it, it starts out kind of weird and straight into the story with the dad taking the two daughters away, which you never actually find out what exactly happened. In a way. Basically, you see him taking the girls and leaving them, and then it skips to recent times, but doesn’t really mention what happened. It just kind of goes ahead to when the dad’s twin brother (really, it’s the same guy playing both), picking them up. Its mentioned that the dad killed the mum but not in-depth, just casually as two characters are talking. This isn’t a big deal or anything obviously, I just thought it was weird. And the other thing I thought about was what a cop-out it was to have the same actor playing the brothers. They’re twins so lets use the same actor. Don’t get me wrong, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau did a good job, but really, they’re twins so lets use the same actor. Again, nothing really to do with the movie, just what I thought was weird about the film.

Moving back on to the proper film, the film as a whole is alright, (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is pretty much out cold for like 90% of it so it was an easy job for him, if you’re a fan or a GOT fan, don’t watch it just for him. As I said, out cold.). Mama has the normal feel of a horror movie, and so it should, it’s about a ghostly spirit who’s obsessed with two children, the children are slightly feral too after all their years spent in that lovely little cabin on their own. So if done well it should be quite good, its got a good set up for a standard horror movie. And it isn’t horrendous, it’s not a stand out film but it’ll pass an evening.  I say all that but if you don’t like CGI, don’t watch this. ‘Mama’ (the ghost I mean) is CGI. And you can tell. It’s not bad CGI, it’s just obviously CGI. She is scary though, like in the film, she’s really quick, but if you get a screen shot of it, well, I don’t like it…

I mean look at that!

Yeah, so overall, its not that bad a film. It’s not going to win any awards or anything but yeah, if you’ve got a spare hour and a half, go for it. The ending was terrible though. genuinely, I could have said a lot better about it had it had a good ending. I won’t mention it because it is a spoiler but its bad. In a way, its good because in some ways it doesn’t go down the normal ‘Hollywood’ happy ending, but it’s still just bad. (Like how many ‘In a way’s I had? Yeah, confusing right? You have no idea how it ends now, do you?). I also hate little kids in horror movies. Hate. And these kids just sit there, one is silent with a face like a smacked arse, and just pout and scream. The poor girlfriend, she didn’t want the kids but noooo, he wanted to save the brats…

Anyway…free evening? Go for it.

Sharknado.

I make myself laugh that I am writing this. HA! Here it goes. SNARKNADO. ‘When a freak hurricane swamps Los Angeles, nature’s deadliest killer rules sea, land, and air as thousands of sharks terrorize the waterlogged populace.’ I beg people, do not stop reading my blog, pleaaaaaase, just because I am writing this review. It was between this and A Serbian Film, but it is nice and sunny out and I wanted something a bit more….upbeat…? Ha! This and The Human Centipede in one day, brilliant!

 

There are no images on here of Sharknado! NOOO!

 

I’m just making myself laugh with this review, first, I am reviewing it and now I can’t find any photos of it. Brilliant! Okay, back to the review, I’ll admit, I’m not sure if this counts as a horror, but it has a tornado made out of sharks and people die, for the moment, that’s good enough for me. As I said above it was either this or a film about a pornstar…you choose. Okay, little secret, I love these type of bad TV made little SyFy movies, there’s just so bad you can’t help but watch and laugh. And that’s what I did for the entire thing, I sat and laughed, whether it was at the bad acting or bad CGI…if you could call it all that. I had a whale of a time. (No fish related pun intended…much). It’s not on my favourite film list but I enjoyed it.

 

I wasn’t expecting a lot, I’ve seen these types of movies before, I love these types of movie so I knew exactly what I was in for, bad acting, old actors who should be doing better, (John Heard, have you remembered Kevin this time?), old celebs who can’t really do any better, (sorry Tara Reid, but I’m looking at you..), unknowns and just a whole load of theeee worst CGI and special effects you will ever see in your entire life. And that is what is amazing about them. I’m not sure what it’s called, but they definitely all come under a certain category…’bad movies with bad acting, old actors who should be doing better, unknowns or old celebs who can’t do any better and the worst CGI and special effects’ maybe.

 

I’m sure you’re a lovely person but….yeah…

So, I’m going to end this there before I loose everyone who visits this, I loved Sharknado, I love all the bad movies like this, like Yeti and Sand Sharks and all them. They’re not even close to being good but they’re just so enjoyable. Life would be a sad place without these. 🙂